My Pursuit

“You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something; Go get it. PERIOD!” Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happiness”
How am I pursuing happiness? Two philosophies: I won't let fear or the unknown control the decisions I making and, I know the why I am here and what I have to do.

My first philosophy comes after 24 years of living a stressful, fearful life that had me trapped in a little bubble or supposed "comfort" zone because I was fearful of the outcome if I strayed away from it. At first, I was afraid of the monster in the closet; later in life, I was scared of the end of the world (or as the church stated, "Armageddon"); fast forward in time and I was scared of the terrorists coming and blowing up the Holland Tunnel near my house. It seemed like every time I had something good going for me, I let negativity, and more importantly fear, cripple me and bring me back to that all too common "comfort zone." I learned how to release the shackels and escape the comfort zone when I crossed paths with a creative and eloquent educator, who I now call my mentor. I now live by the motto, "Live life to the fullest, one day at a time!"

My second philosophy was attained once I let go of the fear. My personal analysis led me to the conclusion that how I grew up, both at home and in church, led to my fearful mentality. All those years, I was fed lies from all angles. It was not until I read "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coehlo, that I was able to fully understand the reality of religion and the lies of the church. The truth is that the higher being [To be fair to all the great religions I say higher being instead of God, Allah, Buddah, etc.] placed us all on this Earth for a particular purpose. This purpose is not to hate other individuals, be it because of their race, sexual preference, religion, etc. The higher being we all know is not a hateful being. This purpose is not to cash money, stabbing people in the back to get it, forgetting about our loved ones, lying and stealing from others to get it, etc. The higher being we all know is not a deceitful being attainable through a piece of paper. The higher being placed us on this Earth for one simple purpose: For you to find out what the purpose is without doing anything negative to the Earth and anyone in it. I learned my purpose and hope to help as many of you as I can find yours!

Questions I Ask the World

Feel free to answer them...

*Who was it that made the decision that we need material things to survive and be happy in this world?

*Who was it that stated that we should use our feelings (i.e., hatred, anger, envy) to control our actions?

*Who was it that stated that we need to be stereotypical and show prejudice towards others in order to lift ourselves to a higher plateau?

*Why do we have to follow an “enlightened” individual, who is identical to us in every aspect, in order to find ourselves? Do they have an answer which we are too weak or fragile to find ourselves?

Get it Done.. One Second at a Time!

“Cause it’s now or never!  Im gonna put it on the line, I gotta win so I’m gonna grind and put in overtime.” –Akon

How many times have you stated: “There are just not enough hours in the day to get so much done!”  I have done it plenty of times and I felt a burden on my shoulders because I was not able to achieve everything I planned to on a certain day.  Negativity always seeped into my system when I felt this burden and I felt unproductive even if I completed many tasks in the day.  Like always, I have found a way to get everything done in a timely fashion and will share this gift with you.  No you don’t have to pay, no you don’t have to sign-up for anything; you don’t even have to add extra hours to your day to pull all-nighter’s to get this done.

So how will you get everything done in a 24-hour day, while getting at least 6 hours of sleep?  The same way that I have been doing for the past 6 months; first, you have to get a good night’s rest the night before (a minimum of 6 hours sleep).  When I say a good night’s rest, I mean you relax while you sleep without stressing or having anything on your mind that will prevent this from happening.  Wake up in the morning and feel the energy that you received during your sleep circulate through your body.  Second, have a nutritional breakfast to get you up and about early.  If you have to eat cereal in the morning, at least add some fruit to it in order to balance it out.  Once you have the energy circulating and the food in your system you can get right down to grinding it out and doing what you have to do to get things accomplished.  Keep in mind that in order to actually be on the “grind” you have to concentrate on what you are doing in the present moment.  Don’t be worried about what has already has occurred and definitely don’t try looking ahead to something that you are not even certain will occur yet.  When you do this, you will see that you can get plenty of things accomplished throughout the day.  The final part of this may be the most important thing you need to do in order stop feeling negatively about the amount of things you get done in a day.  When the day is over and it is time to re-energize your system again, don’t worry or stress about any task that you were unable to complete.  Understand that as long as you are thinking positively and living in the present moment, everything is occurring just as it is supposed to occur and all of your goals and tasks will be accomplished!  Remember to live in the now, give it your all, and understand that you will succeed at everything you set your mind to!  Leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other.  Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me.  Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!                                                 

DOUBT

It has been a while since I have been on here trying to bring some positive vibes to my extended internet family.  I was given a signal that advised me that I should speak up now and bring some good vibes through the electrical waves.  I am taking this time to bring some motivational and positive information to everyone who would like to hear it.  It seems that many individuals always make the same remark that makes their life seem so meaningless.  This remark is: “Sometimes, I wish that I would have done ___ or ___ differently because I would not be in this situation that I am in now!”  I wonder to myself, “Do these individuals actually see the harm that they are causing to themselves?  Don’t they understand that they will never be happy with their life if they live it doubting their actions or the paths that they have taken?”

Doubt is a very powerful feeling that will control your destiny and ensure that you will never reach your true potential.  I tried to advise that doubt is a very negative and deadly weapon but have always received some skepticism.  Therefore, I have found a way to use Doubt as a positive and productive tool.  From now on think of doubt this way:

Don’t

Overanalyze

Unfortunate and

Belligerent

Times

This will help you stay away from a negative mentality and think of doubt in a positive light when it tries to sneak into your conversations.  A positive mindset will bring out a positive lifestyle and this is the best way to stay positive in the presence of negativity.  Remember that and leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other.  Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me.  Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!                       

A Gift from Me to You

I stumbled upon one of the universes greatest discoveries yesterday and I want to share it with all of you.  Before I do, let me ask everyone a question.  Have you ever felt like trading your life for someone else’s?  Are you feeling that way now?  I feel you!  Another person’s life is looking pretty damn good right about now!  What if I told you that the greatest discovery is a way to turn your life into that other person’s?  Yes it is true, I have found the way to transform your life into the great life of “that other person” and I am going to share it with all of you FREE OF COST!!  If you’re interested then read on; if not, then keep searching for it!

“No more stress, now I’m straight.  Now I get it, now I take time to think before I make mistakes just for my family sake.  That part of me left yesterday; the heart of me is strong today.  No regrets I’m blessed to say the old me dead and gone away.” –“Dead and Gone” T.I.

For those that want my special gift to all of you, here you go.  The great discovery was that the only way to turn your life into that other person’s life is to: LIVE YOUR LIFE and ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!  WTF???  “Damn Joel you tricked me!  This isn’t a gift, this won’t even work!”  That is the energy that I feel right now as you read these words.  You might not believe me but this actually works and I can prove it to you.  You can call this a personal post because I will share my story to you and make you see the truth behind my discovery.  For those who do not know, I am a 25 year old, father of two, stepfather of 1, full-time college student, who works three jobs and doesn’t have time to exhale.  I have more debt than income, but my kids have a home, clothes, and food, which is the only thing that matters.  None of my jobs pertain to my field of study and one of the companies is actually going bankrupt.  Wow, depressing isn’t it?  Not for me!  I can honestly say that I have NO stress, NO worries, NO regrets and am actually 120% better off now than I have ever been.  I am living my life how I want to live it, not how someone else wants me to live it.  I am able to see my children almost every day and spend some quality moments with them.  I enjoy every minute of every day, even if I am stuck in a job full of negative energy or if I have piles of homework to do! 

The OLD Joel was completely opposite from what I am now.  I would have probably died of heart problems if I would have stayed on the path I was in.  I had a high paying managerial job for a retail company (that gave me stress and actual sickness every day and night), had money in the bank (that would be spent on unnecessary luxuries), always envied people who had more than me, and wished to be rich and successful (which was not who I really was).  I was diagnosed with high cholesterol and at risk of having a heart disease in the fall of 2007.  I made a decision that same day to change everything and do a complete 180 because I felt that I had something better to give to my daughter and the world in general.  Now you see me walking around with a smile on my face most of the time.  I am happy, healthy, and do everything within my power to enjoy my life.  I might be poor when it comes to money, but I am rich with knowledge and motivation.  I know one thing and that is the fact that I come first and the monetary success will come after.  Little by little I am doing things in life to get me closer to my true goal in life and all of you will experience it.  My goal is to make a positive impact on each and every one of you so that this world becomes more influential and unified!

The message I am trying to send across to you is that you have to live your life and enjoy it.  Why are you going to live your life through your feelings (envy, anger, fear, guilt, remorse)?  Why are you going to let someone else live your life for you?  Why are you going to accept the “given” as reality without doing anything to change it?  We all have the power in us to change this “reality” and to move into a new dimension of true reality.  Do not let another individual or your own mind tell you what is supposed to happen to you; as a matter of fact, ignore them when they try to do this.  Drop your old self off and leave him/her behind because they do not need to come along with you for the ride.  Your past is exactly that and there is nothing to change it so stop trying to.  Do not regret anything that occurred to get you to this point because it all helped you to be who you are now.

So my gift to you is this little exercise:  1.) Look at what has occurred in your life and be thankful for it because you wouldn’t be here without it;  2.) Look up and thank the Source (God, Allah, etc.) for giving you the consciousness to realize that the only “reality” is the one that you create; 3.) Thank your feelings and other individuals for the challenge of trying to stop you from being “realistic;” and, 4.) Start living YOUR life and ENJOY every single minute of it!

What Recession?

“No need to cherish luxuries, because everything comes and goes.  Even the life that you have is borrowed, because you’re not promised tomorrow.  So live your life as if every day is going to be your last.  Once you move forward, can’t go back.  Just repent to remove your past.” – Ghetto, Akon

During the past couple of weeks, I have been reading various posts online about the topic of Optimism.  Many individuals have been discussing the optimism that can be found on various social networks (ie, Facebook, Twitter).  The overall consensus states that these feelings of optimism are ignorant and not valid because of the “rough times” that are occurring in the United States, and the world as a whole, at the present moment.  I am very optimistic and do not think of myself as being ignorant because of it.  I, just like everyone else in the world, may be ignorant in many things (because no one knows everything) but I do believe that there is no reason to be pessimistic, especially now.

The pessimist nature is created through our mentality that we need to have the best, newest, top of the line products that are shown to us by the “experts.”  We become doubtful, angry, and depressed when we cannot purchase these products.  This in turn makes us envy other individuals (who have what we want) and belittle the rest (individuals who do not have what we have or want).  You may not realize it right away because it is an automatic response to what we see.  Once you realize it, you can change your entire pessimistic mentality into one that will allow you to do the most important thing possible, LIVE YOUR LIFE.  You will understand that no luxury will ever fulfill your wants and therefore there is no reason to worry about them.  Like Akon stated, there is no reason to worry about them because even the life that you have is not yours and will go back to the Source once your time is up.  If you don’t live your life, then you’re just wasting energy that could be used productively. 

In all honesty, these are some hard times that we are living through now and I am not trying to mask it.  What I am trying to convey is the fact that we can live positively through this Recession.  We have all been placed on this earth to succeed and sometimes the darkest path helps us get to our destiny.  Remember that your perception is reality; if you look at the world through pessimistic lenses, then you will only see failure.  The only way to succeed in life is to be optimistic and understand that you will succeed at everything that you put all of your energy towards!  If you don’t believe in yourself, don’t worry because I believe in you and sooner or later that belief will rub off on you!  Remember that and leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other.  Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me.  Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!   

Stop Being a Hypocrite!

I usually post writings on line that have to deal with motivation and spirituality but I am going to take this opportunity to “vent” on our society. When did we turn into a large conglomerate of hypocrites? I have become sick to my stomach with the news these past couple of days. Every single time I turn on this alleged “informational” show I have to hear these news anchors talk about the Michael Phelps “marijuana scandal.” I am not sick of the fact that this is the exclusive story that begins all the newscasts; I am sick of hearing these anchors, sports analysts, writers, talk about how it is “inappropriate behavior” and that he should “know that he is a role model for little kids.” I want to make one thing perfectly clear, YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF IGNORANT HYPOCRITES. I get so upset at the fact that many of these anchors or “analysts” talk down on celebrities or athletes when they get arrested or it becomes revealed that they use marijuana or drink alcohol. I say this because most of these individuals are probably doing the same, or more severe, things. These are the individuals who smoke weed or cigarettes and drink gallons of alcohol to “cope.” These are the individuals who snort coke lines like if there were no tomorrow. These are the individuals who verbally, physically, or emotionally abuse loved ones; these are the individuals who have psychological break downs; but then again, they are the ones criticizing Michael Phelps because of a photo that was taken in 2008! I mean seriously is there nothing of relevance to discuss in this world that everyone has to bash on Phelps and act as if they do not have any skeletons in their closet.

If there is anyone in this world that can talk unbiased about a subject such as drugs it would be me. I have never tried drugs and never plan on doing so. There is not enough time in the day for me to bother with doing it. I rarely drink (maybe twice a year) and when I do I only have one serving because I don’t drink to get wasted. Therefore, I believe that I could defend Phelps without anyone trying to say it is because I am about the same age as him and I enjoy the “high life.” This is not the reason that I am venting; I am venting because I will soon be an educator inside a classroom full of young children who will trust me and listen to my advice (hopefully). I do not want to be a hypocrite like these individuals because many kids see how their parents talk about the Phelps situation and then see them fight each other or abuse substances and think “Why should I believe anything they say?” At the same time, many of these young kids are already taking drugs and will become even more rebellious against society because they see the hypocrisy within it. Therefore, why am I going to bash them or Phelps because of their drug/alcohol use? The only thing that I can do is educate these individuals about the harms of those substances and try to minimize their risky behavior and hopefully stop it all together. This is the reason that I call the Phelps bashers ignorant hypocrites because they don’t understand the ways that their words and actions are negatively affecting our youth.

I am going to have to side with Lil’ Wayne (as much as you all will not want to) on a certain quote that he made that pertains to this situation. Many individuals are bashing on Phelps because he is “supposed to be a role model” but as Lil’ Wayne stated in an interview with Katie Couric: “I’m not an example for people on how to live their lives, and never in my life would I set out to be an example for people on how to live their lives. If you need an example on how to live, then you shouldn’t have been born!” Weezy is absolutely right and I agree with him 100%. Why is it that every celebrity or athlete has to take on the responsibility of being the “role model?” I believe it is because parents are scared of taking on such an important responsibility. That is why we see so many rebellious children who have horrible relationships with their families. First, a parent is supposed to be the role model for their child. They are supposed to set the example instead of waiting for another individual to set one for them. Second, society should spend less time trying to make children follow “role models” and spend more time letting them be individuals. I could not imagine telling my kids, “Hey you see that guy/girl on the TV? I want you to be just like him/her!” The parents, family members, or friends that do this are creating a world full of followers (who will succumb to peer pressure) and destroying the sense of individuality that will enable everyone to be an INDIVIDUAL! Let’s stop being hypocrites and starting being honest!

Reaching Your Goals

During a class session, the teacher asked us a question, “How are certain people able to overcome their negative surroundings and become successful?” This discussion came up in our Drug Education class while discussing ways to prevent drug use by young children. After the discussion, I began to think about the ways that I was able to stay away from drugs and the best way to portray that message to everyone. As it turns out, the best way to stay away from any negative factors in life would be by keeping yourself occupied with other factors that will bring a sense of purpose to your life. In order to stay occupied by these factors, you have to find out what you want to accomplish in life and work towards it. There should be a main (ultimate) goal that you would like to accomplish once your life is over; and then other (periodical) goals that will assist you in attaining the main goal. I have created a list which I believe you should try in order to better organize your goals and make sure that they all are attained. I personally will begin my path towards these goals by following this list RELIGIOUSLY. I welcome your feedback and any additions that you may have to optimize this list and make it even more successful. Just remember, there is no magic formula to becoming successful in life but there are certain steps that you can follow in order to get close to it. These steps include a positive attitude, belief in yourself, living in the present moment (not worrying about the future or past), and following your dreams and believing that anything is possible. Now, let us get to the list:

Find out what your Ultimate Goal is in life; or, find out what your purpose in life is.

As I spoke about in a previous post, you have to find out what your true purpose/ultimate goal in life is. Everyone has a little voice within them that gives them certain clues pertaining to the essence of their life. Most of the times we either ignore it, fear it, or pass it off as crap because we don’t fully believe in our ability to do what we were put on this Earth to do. It is safe to say that during these tough economic times many people are more worried about their financial constraints and do not take the time to look deep inside and find their true purpose. I understand that it is difficult but you seriously have to do this because you will never succeed in life living through your feelings. Once you find your true purpose/ultimate goal, you can work on setting the goals to get there.

Do your research.

Depending on your goal, you have to do a significant amount of research in order to make sure you accomplish it. Unfortunately, there are many individuals who will try there hardest to knock you down and ensure that you do not succeed. For example, if your ultimate goal in life is to open a successful bookstore, you have to do plenty of research (location, demographic, etc.) in order to get the store up and running. A city official might try to stop you from getting started, but will not succeed if you have all the research and information to defend you. Any type of research will ensure that you have a defense when you present your goal to higher authorities.

Use all available resources to attain your goal.

You have to understand one thing in life, “Everything happens for a reason.” Every person you meet, every piece of knowledge you gain, or every piece of property you earn has been given to you for you to use it. What I mean by this is that everything, person, or information you gain is placed in your path, by a higher source, in order for you to achieve your true purpose/main goal in life. You have to understand it and respect it. For example, if someone brings negativity in your life in order to slow you down, you have to understand that they were placed there for a reason and not get overly upset or angry with the person or situation. This will help you respect the situation and move on towards your main goal without steering off track. Once you understand this concept, you will use (not in a bad way) every person, thing, or information to your advantage in order to be successful in your purpose.

Don’t get ahead of yourself.

This will help you stay in the present moment. You have to understand that you cannot worry about the future outcome because there is no future. The future is the present moment; therefore there is no time but the present. Every step that you take is a step closer to your main goal. What this means is that every step is a goal within itself and if you do not pay attention to each step, you will never achieve your main goal. The best way to prevent this from happening is by creating periodic goals in order to stay focused on achieving the steps to get to the main goal.

Do not let anything hold you down.

There are many people who never find their true purpose in life because they give up too fast or they let other people pull them down. The reason that many individuals give up is because they do not believe in themselves. The best way to become successful in life is by believing in you. There is no other way to say this because there is no other individual that can make you understand this. Also, like I stated in a previous step, you have to ignore all of the negativity around you when other people are involved and are trying to make you give up. Finally, you have to understand that anything in this world is possible as long as you give your full effort and stay driven to achieve your purpose in life. Nothing can hold you away from it and any assumptions that you have should not get in your way. For example, you might be accustomed to the “fact” that you will never be a success in life because of some negative factors in your life (bad community, single parent house, etc.); if you believe that this is a “fact” then you will never succeed; but if you truly believe that anything is possible, then you will understand that you can succeed at anything in life. This will make you see life in a different perspective and ensure that you understand the true fact that nothing in life is set in stone.

Just remember that YOUR life was not molded into a particular shape or pattern that MUST be followed. You have the power to mold or shape your life in whatever way you see fit. Your goals can be reached by following these powerful steps and by knowing that you have the power to do it. It is as the Pharaoh once stated, “So shall it be written, so shall it be done;” the only difference is that YOU will write it and YOU will do it, no one else! Remember that and leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other. Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me. Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!

Hold on... Where You Going?

**I had a certain topic that I wanted to discuss with everyone but I honestly could not place things into writing because I felt that I needed to gain further insight into the mindset of each and every one of you. After careful consideration, I decided to go ahead and write this motivational piece with a general sense of what you all are going through and how we can all move forward in this world.**

I have many conversations throughout the day and there is one thing that comes to mind after hearing many of these conversations, “I am not content/happy!” There is something in our life (sometimes many things) that does not let us enjoy the present moment, hard work, and dedication that we are putting forth. There is always a person, job, class, or bill that always haunts us and makes it difficult for us to put on a smile and keep moving forward. Just because I write these motivational pieces does not mean that I am not susceptible to this. I am also a person who becomes affected by the situation and let my feelings and emotions get the best of me. At the present moment, I am going through a difficult time with one of my jobs. I can feel a cloud of negativity and anger loom once I enter into the building. There is fear around every corner, the “dog eat dog” mentality runs wild because the company is going bankrupt, and nobody seems to be happy in life. I feel that all of my energy is suffocated out of my body because I just cannot find a way to bring some positive energy into their lives and therefore make it a more relaxed environment. This is very similar to many situations that you all are feeling. Some may have a relationship or ex-relationship that is making them feel this way; others may be getting stressed out by a class or professor that they are taking or by the fact that they do not know what they want to do with their professional lives; and then there are others who are swamped with debt that is making them question their own life (like the unfortunate murder-suicide in L.A.); but the one thing that we all have in common is that we let these situations cloud or judgment and run our lives.

The one thing that I have asked myself is, “When is enough, really enough.” How can we actually let go of the thing(s) that stop us from being content? It’s impossible isn’t it? Not so. I believe that sometimes in life we have to let go of things very close to us in order to feel content in life. I am not saying that in all situations we have to let go of the person, job, etc. that is affecting us. Sometimes we have to do other things like letting go of the past or believing in ourselves. There are also times where we can assist in making the situation positive and worthwhile. But when none of that works, what do we do next? You have to have some strong faith in yourself to believe that you will be a better individual by letting go. You might stress about not having money to pay the bills or being alone. If you believe in yourself, another opportunity will soon arise where you will most likely be have the money and security necessary to feel fortunate and content.

My belief is, and has always been, that everything in life happens for a reason and everything is right where it is supposed to be. Therefore, every path that you are on is a journey for you to find your true calling in life. Your job is to find out if the path will take you to your true calling or if you have to jump off of that path and get on another one. Therefore, if you can’t fix the situation or make it a more positive experience then you have to leave that path behind and follow your intuitions into a path better fit for you to make the most out of life. Remember to leave your comments and insight. Your successful accomplishments will motivate everyone else to do the same. Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me. Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!

Let Go of the Past

“It's been so long that I haven't seen your face. I'm tryin to be strong but the strength I have is washin away!” –Right Now, Akon

Are you living life in the present moment? Are you enjoying every moment as it comes to you? Are you sure? Or are you trying to be happy throughout life but feel that something is always holding you down or pulling you back? If you do feel stuck there is one main reason for this, you have not let go of the past. You are not truly living every moment as it comes to you because you are worried, angry, or in pain due to something that happened to you a few minutes, months, or years ago. You are not living the present day because every day is not the present day for you, it is the past. Sounds weird? Well think about it this way: Three years ago, someone came along and hurt your feelings. Today (the present day), you wake up angry because you heard the person’s name the night before. Now you walk around the entire day angry and upset with every single person that you come in contact with in the present day. You carry everyone into your past situation because you bring it with you everywhere you go. Therefore, you do not get to enjoy all of the conversations, relationships, friendships, etc. that you have in the present day. You will never make any positive connections in the present day because you are stuck in the negative connections of the past.

Have you ever sat down and made an analysis of your life? I challenge you to do so! Do you want to be happy? Do you want to stop feeling anger, pain, resentment, betrayal? I have to solution for you and you don’t have to pay or do anything intensive to participate. Take time out of your busy day and work on the following experience. Grab a paper and writing utensil and sit down in a quiet, comfortable environment. Separate the page into four columns: Situation/Relationship, Is it Affecting Me, Goal/Amount of Time to Get Rid of Pain/Date that you Succeeded. In the first column, write down every painful situation/relationship that you have gone through in your lifetime. Try as hard as you can to remember as many of them as possible because it will help you maximize the success of the experiment. In the second column, write a “Yes” if it is still affecting you and a “No” if it is not affecting you anymore. In the third column, set a goal (time frame) for you to stop feeling all of the emotions that come from this situation. In the final column, write down the date that you succeeded in your goal of stopping the affects of the situation/relationship; this is helpful because you can reflect on it if you ever feel an emotion try to creep back into your mind.

"Ok Joel I wrote it all out but it hasn’t helped me feel different. What now?" Well now that you have all of the situations on paper, you have a visual of what affects you (your personality, mental state, health, etc.) on a daily basis and you can work towards stopping these affects. The first step is letting go of the situation and the feelings that come along with it. This is a very difficult step, but it is the most rewarding as well. I understand that sometimes the situation may be very painful and it may hurt you to reflect on it. You have to face the situation and move on or it will overpower you for the rest of your life. There are various ways to get past this first step: Many friends have used me as a sponge that absorbed every word and every feeling from a painful situation by just talking to me about it and letting everything go. Find someone that you trust or, more importantly, someone that will not be judgmental or bias against you and let it all go (words, feelings, tears, etc.). Once you do that, you will feel “lighter” because much of the weight of the situation has been lifted off of your shoulders. It is understandable if you do not feel comfortable doing that, therefore the next best thing would be writing it out. Write until your hands get tired and take out all of your pain on the paper/keyboard. Just like the conversation, you have to let it all go until you feel “lighter.” Then just print out the paper, and dispose of it (burn it, shred it, etc.). Once that part is done, you will probably be able to go back to the sheet you created and see that you accomplished a goal. If you are still being affected, the next step would be to write a letter to the person that created the situation. Write a formal letter and write down what you are feeling because of the situation/relationship that you went through. Once you write that, do a chart that shows the positive times and the negative times in the relationship. Next to the negative times, write down all of the feelings that you felt. Next to the positive times, write down the feelings that you felt. In the final part of the paper, write about the positive times in the situation/relationship and how good you felt through them. Finally end with these words: “I have been holding onto this situation/relationship for (amount of time) and have let it run my life because I was not able to accept it and move on. I now see that I learned many things from it and became a much better person because of it. I thank you very much for the lessons that I have learned and I truly forgive you for it.” Once you finish the letter, reflect on it and make sure that you are fully satisfied and ready to forgive and move on. Once you are you can go back to the sheet and see that you accomplished your goals.

Try this experiment out and watch how much better you will feel afterwards. You will learn to move away from the past and live in the present moment. Watch how positive your life, and everything around you, becomes afterwards. I challenge you to change your life for the better and gain some positivity from this experience. Remember to leave your comments and insight on the ways that you were positively affected by the challenge. Your successful accomplishments will motivate everyone else to do the same. Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me. Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!

Yes We Did??

**This piece is certainly not the normal motivational piece that I give everyone but I thought that I would chime in on a huge misconception that is affecting many individuals in our country.**

Today is a very historic day in our lifetime and I am very proud to have witnessed it. I take great pride in being able to realize the dream and passion of individuals like the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Unfortunately, there are many individuals who do not understand the magnitude of the crisis that is occurring in the United States. I was flipping through my local radio stations while driving around and I heard an interesting announcement come across the speakers. There was a commercial talking about the historic inauguration of President Barack H. Obama and at the end it stated, “Yes We Did!” This message is only three words long; it may not seem huge, but the words are very powerful. For someone to proclaim “Yes We Did” means that we have resolved the daunting tasks affecting our country.

The problem that I have with this statement is that it is sending the incorrect message to our society. It is stating that we have accomplished our mission and that no further problems will arise after this. One thing that the media does not understand (or they do and are feeding off of it) is that they are not painting the wrong picture for our country. This radio station is intended for young, urban listeners (Hip-Hop and R&B); many of these individuals are part of the “Need it Now” society. These individuals are given false hope into believing that everything is great and there are no more worries because, “Yes They Did.” They will believe that their voice is truly heard until something goes wrong, or their requests aren’t met. I do not appreciate the fake that this radio station is feeding into the ignorance of society by stating that the battle is done and there is no more work to do.

We have to look at this historic event as just one brick that we have laid to solidify our foundation. The job is not complete; the brick wall is not complete. There is still more work to be done and I appreciate the fact that President Obama has been honest and upfront with us about the fact that we all have to work in unison in order to rebuild and fortify our country. Let us look at the words of our new president and appreciate the honesty behind them. As President Obama stated, “The problem will not be fixed in a short span of time, but it will be met;” “there are no more short-cuts; no more leisure over work;” “there is no more standing pat; we will all begin the work of remaking America;” and “it is time to lay a new foundation.”

Let us forget the ignorant ways of the media and listen to our Commander in Chief, because it is not “Yes We Did,” it is “Yes We Can!” We cannot just stand around and think that our part is complete. There is still much work to do and we all need to unite together to accomplish the task at hand, one brick at a time. The job is nowhere near finished; look how long it took for Dr. King’s dream to shed some light!

The "Glass Ceiling" Challenge

“Stop looking at what you ain’t got and start being thankful for what you do got!” – Live Your Life by T.I.

Why do we envy people who are successful? There are many times where we look at the “fortunes” of other individuals and become frustrated at the fact that we do not have as much as other people. We live this life complaining about our misfortunes and our “bad luck” while also talking down on individuals that we encounter on an everyday basis. Read these questions and actually reflect and see when the last time that you asked or said such a thing was: A.) Look at the way (entertainer/actress/television personality) is dressed. Doesn’t he/she notice how ugly they look wearing that? B.) Why did he/she get that promotion instead of me? They were probably kissing up to the boss or talking bad about me to the higher-ups. I can’t stand him/her! C.) Nothing good ever happens to me! Why is it that all the good things always happen to the bad people?

Many people have thought these questions internally or different variations of it. They do not understand that these envious thoughts will never allow you to be successful in life. You will be angry at the world around you because you are never given what “you deserve.” I would personally like to issue a challenge to each and every person who has the opportunity to partake in it: Try to look at your life in a different perspective (for at least one day). Stop complaining about how bad your life or situation is at this moment. Stop worrying about the “fortunes” that every other person has and start caring about yourself. Throughout the day, look at yourself (every action, every word, every expression that you use) as if you were narrating your own story. Have something available to jot down how you react to everything that you come in contact with as soon as it happens; be it a traffic jam, the wind blowing in your face, someone else showing excitement or grief over a certain situation. At the end of the day, review your notes and analyze your responses (negative and positive) to each situation. This will help you realize that there are many situations, big or small, that you respond negatively to. Once you realize this, the only thing left to do is work on minimizing the negative responses and maximizing the positive responses.

I would hope that every one of you would try this, but I do understand that you have to be personally motivated to do so. The reason I am asking you to do this is because I can feel the pain and agony in most of your souls that cries out for success and happiness. I do believe that it can be the first step into receiving all of the “fortunes” that are available to you. I would also like to emphasize the fact that the “fortunes” I speak about are in quotations because I am not talking about billions of dollars, even though I know that most of you will be able to attain a grand amount of monetary wealth through positive motivation. “Fortune” for one person is not the same for another; some will feel satisfied and accomplished by a loving family, others by traveling throughout the world. I believe that you will achieve your “fortunes” (whatever it may mean to you) once you truly take the time out to find yourself and your purpose in life. Remember to leave your comments and insight on the ways that you were positively affected by the challenge. Your successful accomplishments will motivate everyone else to do the same. Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me. Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!

Stay Positive A.K.A. The Cheese Steak Chronicles

Is there possibly a way to always see the glass as half full?  How is it possible?  How can we live our life full of happiness and joy with so much turmoil all around us?  It is very simple; you have to always stay positive.  A positive mind frame will help you get through the “drama” that unfolds in our everyday life.  Like I stated in my previous writings, we will never achieve true happiness if we constantly walk around hovered by a cloud of negativity.  I know you might think, “Come on man, that’s some bull!  You don’t know everything that I am going through.  It’s easy to say it but when you are going through a tough situation, you will see the reality!”  Well actually, I have lived through rough situations and am actually going through one right now but that does not mean that I will not have a positive mind frame.  I quit some high paying jobs (which actually brought extreme stress into my life), I was unemployed for most of 2008 with a one year old daughter and a newborn son, I currently have two part time jobs, went back to school full-time (mostly on student loans), and am in jeopardy of getting some possessions reposed.  My life isn’t easy but I don’t live ever second in stress and depression about what is going happen to me or my kids.  I know deep down inside that everything happens for a reason and all will fall into place when the time is right!  So when I tell you to stay positive, I am not being a hypocrite who has his life set and all is well!

This motivational piece came about through an interesting conversation I had with a co-worker.  Through this conversation I learned that anything that we encounter in life can help us change our negativity and allow us to Stay Positive.  We were talking about a multitude of things, mostly revolving around positive energy and some things from my previous pieces (like Everything is Possible and there is no reason to be angry or negative).  You would think that I motivated her to stay positive through these conversations, wouldn’t you?  Well during a break in our positive energy conversation we spoke about food and a local mall (Newport Mall).  Out of nowhere, I told her, “Wow you just made me think about the best cheese steaks around here at The Steak Escape in Newport Mall.”  She then explained to me the fact that she never had a cheese steak before and I sarcastically insisted that she would never be complete until she ate a cheese steak.  The conversation and my work day ended without me knowing that the wheels of positivity were in motion.

The next day when she came into work, she stated to me that the “Cheese steak conversation” took on a life of its own and she felt the urge to ask everyone she spoke to yesterday, “Have you ever had a cheese steak?”  She stated that some of her conversations were about negative issues in her life but through she was able to overlook them by just thinking about the “Cheese steak conversation.”  Instantly, a bulb shined in my head and I told her, “Damn I’m good!  Just kidding, but seriously that is crazy how my statement about a cheese steak helped you be positive the entire day.” 

Sometimes I write these motivational pieces as a way to motivate myself and all of you through some various insights into a different mindset.  While doing this, I forgot that my light-hearted and funny side also does that without me even trying to force the issue.  Simply, what I am trying to say is that we have to understand that our lives should not be overpowered by our negative feelings and that cloud that follows us everywhere.  You don’t have to go to an expert (e.g., therapist, psychologist) to find your positive mind frame.  You have the power to unlock that mind frame within yourself.  The only thing that you need to do is let go of the fear of letting go and taking control of your life.  You run your life; you can and are always making a choice.  You can choose to be positive and see all of the good things that life brings you or you can stay negative and stay with the constant anger, depression, and dis-ease that hovers over you.  Just remember that the choice is yours; “The ball is in your court!”  Remember to leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other.  Like always, I am always just a “Send Message” click away if you need me.  Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!                

Everything is Possible!

“You can’t do it!”  “I don’t know if I could get this done.”  “I’m not smart/strong/cool enough to do that!”  Sound familiar?  Every day we live our lives in doubt of what we are capable of.  We are always negative of ourselves and the world around us.  This creates a mentality that believes that we are not “good enough” to accomplish our goals or anything that we set out to do in life.  It also creates an environment around us that motivates us to stay in that mentality and never get away from it.  I have wasted many years of my life in this mindset.  I didn’t really play sports because I thought I wasn’t good enough.  I never had a true career path because I thought that I was not particularly good at one thing or the other.  My friends always said they wanted to be a cop or they wanted to be a pro athlete but I could never say, “I want to be a (this profession or that profession) when I grow up,” because I didn’t believe it.  I now believe that anything in this world is possible and you can achieve whatever you set your mind to. 

A good compare and contrast between the “not good enough” mentality and the “everything is possible” mentality is the conversation I had about the famous event that occurred on November 4, 2008.  At around 7:45 p.m., I was sitting down watching CNN’s coverage of the elections and my mother happened to walk by.  She told me “Why are you watching this?  Obama is not going to win.  The other guy is going to win and this place will get worse.”  The only reply that I had was, “Don’t be so negative.  Just watch and see.”  She left and the next morning I told her, “You see, you can’t always be driven by what has happened in the past.  Once you know that anything is possible you will see the difference around you.”  This conversation could have been about anything, sports, the health of a relative, etc., and the outcome would have been the same.  If you believe there is such a thing as failure, death, etc. then that is what will be shown to you.  Luckily, I sparked a seed of awareness in my mother’s head and made her realize that erasing negative thoughts brings happiness into your life.

You can shift away from the “not good enough” mentality and move closer to the “everything is possible” mentality.  It might not happen overnight but once you truly believe it, you will see the change in your life.  I believe that many of us have been thrown into the “not good enough” mental state by our society and the way that we were brought up.  Generations of individuals have been raised to be negative and not believe that they are capable of achieving their goals.  I know you are probably thinking: “I hear about those people all of the time, they are so horrible.  They tell their kids things like ‘You are good for nothing’ or they physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse their children.  I don’t know why they have children in the first place.”  Those are the extreme cases, but there are other situations and you probably have been through one of them in your lifetime and don’t even know about it.  How many times were you told by a parent that you couldn’t do this/that because it was too dangerous (Not going out late at for drinks and a drive around time, but small things like going on a roller coaster or indoor rock climbing)?  When you were a baby, did your parents have you in the “sheltered” play pen all day so you wouldn’t get hurt?  Don’t look only at the extreme situations where this mentality is formed; look also at the subtle situations that might creep into your mind and make you question your potential. 

One person in this “physical” world has helped me see that there is no limit to what you can achieve in this world.  I look at her as a symbol of the limitless potential that is inside each and every individual in this world.  I have seen the truth to this limitless potential through her actions and her “everything is possible” mentality.  She has proved to me that the “not good enough” mentality that haunts each and every one of us (some more than others) can be erased and we can all wake up to realize our true potential and the fact that we are all capable of achieving anything that we set out to achieve.  This person is my daughter.  Now I know what many of you are thinking: “Joel you seriously have issues.  Your daughter is not even two years old.  How could she possibly possess the “everything is possible” mentality?”  She possesses that mentality because she has not been manipulated by feelings, negativity, or people who try to enforce the “not good enough” mentality.  She is, as the phrase states, “Free as a bird.”  She knows no limits or boundaries and only knows how to enjoy life one second at a time.  That is the mentality that we all have deep down inside it.  Once you find the key, you can open the doors to the “everything is possible” mentality and never have to look back.  I hope this writing has helped you become more aware of the potential that you have inside you and also raise your desire to unleash that potential.  Remember to leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other.  Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!

Insight into my Motivational Writings

Why are we So Serious?

I watched the movie “The Dark Knight” this past weekend and saw it in a different light than many people may have seen it.  It made me look into myself and wonder the exact question asked by the Joker, “Why So Serious?”  Why is it that we are so serious on a daily basis?  Why do we get angry about every little situation that occurs?  Why do we let our worries and concerns consume our lives and affect the way that we live?  I can honestly say that I do not have the answer for the reasons behind these feelings in everyone else, but within myself I realized that these feelings ran my life because I let it get to me.  I would like to share it with you to see if anyone can relate and to motivate others to move away from these unnecessary feelings. 

I continuously stressed about work and money; I always told myself “What am I going to do if I lose this job?  I can’t lose this job because I won’t have enough money to support my family.  I worked so hard to get everything that I have and don’t want to go back to having nothing!”  I felt like I would lose my life if I would ever lose the job I had.  I took everything seriously and lost my humorous, down-to-earth self.  I let my feelings and possessions consume me instead of just living my life and enjoying each moment as it went by.  This led to sour relationships, turmoil within family members, destroyed friendships and business opportunities.  My feelings created a wall that blocked any inner peace or happiness from entering.  I felt trapped and suffocated to a point where I was so stressed out and had a panic attack.  I thought to myself, “There has to be a way out.  Someday I am going to get out of this mess and be a true success in life.”  I had a “plan” to escape the pain of the lower-class/stressed filled structure that I was stuck in for most of my life.  I thought that I could escape the structure by making a lot of money and having many items (e.g., clothes, shoes, and electronics).  I never actually realized that this “plan” was created by my feelings like concern and fear that I would never have enough to support myself and later on, my children.  Of course, the “plan” never came true and I was stuck with the same fears that had never actually gone away.  This brought with it stress and anxiety, which is actually negative energy, that caused me to get sick and end up with high cholesterol and other medical issues.

Around this time last year I was in, most likely, the worst possible situation that I could ever be in.  I had the issue with my cholesterol, severe bronchitis (on the verge of becoming pneumonia), I was filled with stress and anxiety (which felt like I was carrying Mt. Everest on my back), and had lost a new job with Verizon.  I was an unemployed father of a 7 month old, with another kid on the way, who did not know what the future had in store.  I could not find a job because of the Recession (which was allegedly not going on at the time) and had to take unemployment for the time being.  In the following weeks something came over me and the feelings that were running my life began to disappear little by little.  I would have to give much credit to my daughter for this shift in my attitude towards life because she helped me live in the Now.  Through her I realized that I have to appreciate every second as if it is my last and I began to realize that I have to live in the present moment and not worry about the past or the future.  I realized that the only way to make a meaningful future, for myself and everyone around me, would be to live every moment as it comes to you.  What I am trying to say is that you have to stop stressing, being angry, or worrying about every little detail and just enjoy your life as it comes to you.

I felt that I should share this insight with each and every one of the people who I come in contact with every day.  I feel motivated by your appreciation and energy; and hope that this has motivated you in some way to move away from the “Serious” mentality and begin to enjoy life as you live it (in the present moment).  I also felt motivation from an individual that I strongly care about (hopefully it touches many more) who is going through these feelings now and has to deal with the stresses that supposedly have to occur in our lives.  Understand that all will be good as long as you live in the Now and stop worrying about the future.  The future is what you make it and will continue to be stressful as long as that it was drives your present moments.  Remember to leave your comments and insight to the topic because WE motivate each other and move on another into a more conscious state of mind.  Like always, I am always around if you need me.  Live life to its fullest, one day at a time!

What Motivates You?

**This is my first, of many, installments in a series of writings aimed to motivate each and every one of you out there (including myself). A special thank you to everyone who I have ever interacted with in this journey that I call life. This opportunity would never be possible without you all. I will be waiting to hear feedback in order to create more strong and positive discussions. Understand that whenever you need someone to just listen to your concerns, without judgment, bias, or repercussions, I am always around! Live healthy, happy, and respectful to everyone, most importantly yourself!**

Ask this question to many young Americans and what will the response be: “MONEY!” But why is this? Why do we only care about money and buying the “newest things out?” Money is necessary in life to pay for a roof over your head, the clothes on your back, and food on your table. The rest are just products that are not really necessary for you to live your life and be happy. I am not saying that it is wrong to buy other products only that they are not necessary for you to truly be happy and successful. I had a powerful and passionate discussion with some co-workers and heard many exclusive comments that only included those who believed that money was necessary and the reason for happiness in this world. I felt this would be a great opportunity to give some insight on my opinions. I say this because whenever I talk to someone in person about my opinions, all I hear is “You can’t think like that!” or “You are such a liar! You have to have these feelings and you have to want money!”

The discussion began when one co-worker stated her stressed out state of mind because of her debt. As I heard her complaints, the only thing that I could sense was the fact that she created this debt through purchasing items that she “needed” (e.g., shoes, clothes, jewelry). The discussion then turned into a bashing of my particular views and the fact that I believe that your life does not have to revolve around money. I explained to her that money does not make you, it does not justify who you are. The response that I received was: “Yes it does because if you don’t have money, nice clothes, or a nice car, no girl will want to be with you!” Now most of you know me and one thing that you all know is that I have none of the above. I am a 24 year old, average looking, father of two who has been loved and appreciated because of who I am and not what I have. Therefore, that statement is not valid; it does not portray every person on this earth.

With that said, we come to the message that I want to get across: Money is not a motivator; it should not be your main focus in life. Living your entire life chasing the “Almighty Dollar,” worrying about having enough money, building a vicious cycle of debt will never bring you to true happiness and satisfaction. Worrying, stressing, anger, and all other feelings will keep the true motivator, you, hidden. You need to understand that the true answer to the question what motivates you is: Yourself!

I know what you are thinking: “Damn Joel you are full of s**t!” Do you really think that I do not know what I am talking about? I lived my childhood poor and never having the newest things out like everyone else. So when I finally started working all I cared about was the money and being able to have everything like the rest of my friends. I lived my life from the age of 16 through the age of 23 motivated by MONEY! Do you know what that brought me? Bills, stress, medical, emotional, financial, and relationship problems. Do you see happiness or tranquility in that list? After some great insight from a powerful mentor, I realized what the problem was; money was my substitute for happiness and love. I believed that I would be happy and others would love me as long as I always had money and items to prove it. The truth is that the love and happiness never came; I did not find true happiness until I looked inside myself.

I realized that the best way to motivate yourself is to first look inside yourself, find your true self, and then you will find the keys to happiness and success. Always believe that you can make of life what you want to; you can succeed in everything that you do if you believe this. Live life to its fullest, one day at a time.